Remembering Rajesh Dalal

Rajesh Dalal

It is such an irony of fate that we realise the strength of a bond with somebody only after getting the shock of losing him forever. This is exactly how it happened since the news of Rajeshji leaving us forever came to me. It was as unexpected as it was untimely. It shook me out of my slumber. Taking life for granted and expecting its movement according to our assumptions is perhaps the most primitive form of ignorance.

I could never have enough of him. He was one of the very few persons in the Krishnamurti circle that one longed to interact with. Right from the first time when I saw him there was this irresistible urge to engage him in a dialogue. The first time we met it was more of an assault on him by a group of four of us who wanted to challenge and test his understanding of the teachings and the level of his commitment to K's Vision. As if we were the most knowledgeable and committed disciples of K.

He took the unexpected confrontation in his stride and very patiently gracefully answered all our questions. We had a secret desire to defeat him, to prove our own insight and understanding and dislodge him from his place of pride in the inner circle of Krishnamurti's disciples. That would somehow give us a chance to claim that position at least in our own imagination . He was the youngest of them and looked a very attractive target.

We also held him in some awe at the same time, knowing his background and the way he took the plunge into the world of radical ideas, uncommon lingo and highly unstructured and formless form of K' teachings.

His straight and direct gaze, probing and piercing eyes (that did not hurt) and a spontaneous laughter made him very distinct. He had no fences and no defences and that instantly unarmed anyone who would have a confrontationist approach, though I never saw any one having that attitude towards him except a few diehards like us.

His talks were marked at times for the contrast of simplicity of language and complexity of the theme which could make it very arduous for the speaker but the listener was put at ease and saved some mental strain. His artistic hands came to his help in keeping us attentive when he tried to unravel a complex theme.

His demeanour was very genuine and his charm natural. He was never pretentious and would not exhibit authority over the teachings in spite of being very deeply involved in them at every moment of his waking life.
His lectures were not oratorical but eloquent. He was not verbose and there never was an effort to  cast a spell or create an impression. Words never flew out of his mind but came from the depths of his heart. All his energy would be directed to keep the discourse constantly evolving while moving steadily around the center.

Total integrity in thought and expression, concern and articulation was the hallmark of his speech . tentative pronouncements in spite of a deep understanding of life and an unwavering faith in the path less journey, made him truly unique and distinguished.

His simplicity was not adorned, he really was simple and self effacing without being reticent.
So much so that his presence as a guest in our home would be hardly felt. He came like the soft breeze and left without leaving any mark.

I personally had some very lengthy arguments with him at times and stuck to my guns but he never showed any exasperation or lost interest. As if it was his Dharma to indulge us as much as we wanted. As if there was no other purpose of his being there. That put us so much at ease with him that at times we transgressed the limits of propriety in claiming on his time and energy.

It is difficult to define him in parts but at the same time its so easy to define him in totality as a very loveable human being. Genuine and true to the core. No false pretence, affectionately impersonal and devoid of any rancour. Every time I met him it was like the first meeting as though he did not form any permanent impression about me, good or bad. As if he did not carry any picture of mine in his mind. As if he did not form any fixed idea on the basis of past experience or heresy. Of course he recognised me well enough as a friend of the foundation but that was that.

Was he not thus a living embodiment of the teachings to an extent ?
He certainly was and I am sure in many more ways than what one could fathom. because, no matter for how long one had known him, his magnetic force never ceased to draw us naturally towards him.

I will always miss him at the K centres yet feel his unobtrusive presence around at the same time.

Naveen Tewari
Lucknow